Drabbles
by ChaosHatsune
Summary: AU. Finding himself awaken by a terrifying, rogue AI, the Sniper soon learns that it wants something: information. Tasked with the job of retrieving intel, the information broker must do whatever it takes to get the data GLaDOS wants.These are short, simple drabbles between the Sniper and GLaDOS in an AU. Chapters are written in non-chronological order.
1. Nicknames

"I don't believe you're really all that bad, mate," he whispered, his thick Australian accent retaining a tone of obvious affection. As he gently patted the side of her "face" in what many could describe as a gesture of love.

"I mean, sure you have a horrible tendency to kill every wanker that touches you. Especially if any one of 'em does a particular thing that upsets you... But, ya' know, you're not so bad once I got past your pessimistic and unpredictable personality, GLaDDy," he said, chuckling as he received a rather nasty glare from Aperture Science's large A.I.

"You do realize that I'm seriously starting to regret ever waking you from cryogenic sleep, John. Or should I say _Mr. Lowrie?_" she replied, obviously irritated from the new nickname he gave her.

"Hey, hey! No need to get all upset over it. I was just kiddin' about the whole nickname thing!"


	2. Awakening

She didn't know what compelled Her to continuously stare at the dimly glowing capsule. Her orange optic glaring solemnly at the translucent pod, discovering that it was the only one that held an unconscious human deep in cryogenic sleep.

Unlike the rest of the luminescent capsules GLaDOS had discovered, this one was in perfect condition. Albeit, centuries of neglect had left the outer shell's metallic surface a rusty red, but in comparison to the rest of the pods within the room. It was an amazing feat to even find that the old piece of machinery hadn't already malfunctioned or short-circuited decades ago.

Giving out an artificial sigh, the large A.I. began inspecting the contents of the capsule, making the camera zoom in to allow Her to see more clearly. Pausing momentarily, She took a moment to analyze the room, finding several tubes and wires connecting to the human's sturdy frame. Most likely supplying the man with the necessary nutrients that continued his frozen existence. Numerous orange screens bleeped erratically in the dimly lit room, most of their screens cracked and covered in layers of dust accumulated over centuries worth of time. Their only purpose was to continuously monitor the man's bodily functions 24/7.

However, She hadn't brought the only camera in the room online, just to simply go sight-seeing.

Without a second thought, GLaDOS released the unconscious male from the confines of his transparent prison.

**…xX~~~Xx…**

Waking up with an irritated groan, John stretched his stiff muscles for the first time in what felt like centuries. "Dear god," he muttered incoherently, sitting up as he rubbed his temples in a futile attempt to ease the throbbing pain. "I haven't felt this horrible in years…bloody hell, just where am I?"

_"Good morning, Mr. Lowrie,"_ an ominous yet feminine voice interrupted his annoyed mutterings, causing the man to gasp out in surprise as he tried to identify where the source of the voice came from.

"What the-?"

_"I hope that your stay in Aperture will be a pleasant one,"_ it spoke again, making the man finally notice the voice's location was somewhere above him. Curious, the Australian man's eyes slowly trailed upwards as he tried to find where the blasted speakers were located, however, instead of finding a pair of speakers or a camera.

His brown eyes met orange.

_"Because I'm afraid that you won't be leaving anywhere, anytime soon..."_


	3. First Meeting

'_Goodness, it's only my first day of work and I'm ALREADY lost,'_ Caroline thought to herself, feeling utterly hopeless as she wandered aimlessly throughout the many corridors of the large facility. Clutching her notepad securely within her tightly clinched hands, the young woman decided to turn around and walk back to where she originally came from. But before she could do so, the noise of footsteps could be heard alongside the sound of two voices.

"Ah, no way Rick! You gotta be joking," one of the men chuckled, his thick British accent becoming fairly apparent, as the two employees traveled closer to her location. "There is absolutely NO way that you'll ever get a date with her!"

'_Hey, I recognize that voice…'_ she thought to herself, feeling surprised. She concentrated on trying to recognize the owner of the voice was.

"Oh? Since when did you become the love guru?" the man named Rick replied haughtily. Continuing on with his accusations, "I don't see YOU doing any better, four eyes!"

"Hey! For your information, I** did **get lucky! In fact, unlike you, I'm currently in a relationship!"

'_Oh, now I remember,'_ she thought, realization dawning at her, _'it was that clumsy accountant that greeted me the other day, Back when I first applied for this job…what was his name again? I believe that it was Wheatley or something.'_

"Is that so? And who would that be?"

"Chell," Wheatley replied, blushing lightly as he removed his glasses to clean them from some pesky dust particles.

"You mean that mute test subject?" Rick asked, his bemused tone earning a harsh glare from his blue-eyed companion.

"You know what?" he began, looking away from the burly man beside him. "I'm just gonna pretend that you don't even exist right now."

Without a second thought, Caroline decided that it was now or than.

"Um, excuse me…but do you know where Mr. Johnson's office is located?"

…**xX~~~Xx…**

_Janitor's Office_

Reading off the outrageously large sign plastered outside the large metallic door. Caroline couldn't help but feel a large wave of disbelief and disappointment hit her, wave after wave, as she stared at the door for several long moments. Complementing on whether or not she should just leave right here, right now.

"If I see that blue-eyed moron ever again I swear that I'm gonna-!"

"Excuse me, sheila... but I couldn't help but notice that you've been shouting."

Hearing an Australian accent from behind, the brunette paused from her spiteful rant, instead deciding to turn around to face the information broker from behind her.

"You must be the new secretary right?" he asked her curiously, looking at her intently as a lopsided smile appeared on his face.

"Yes that's me," she answered, unsure on how to react at the man's question.

"Good, Cave called me to go get ya' not too long ago." He said, pausing momentarily before adding on. "He's been a bit worried as to where his new secretary went, either way my name's John and yours is..?"

"Caroline."

"Nice to meet you, Caroline," John said, taking of his hat so he could bow before her. "Just make sure that you don't follow anymore instructions from Wheatley ever again, alright?"


	4. Humanity Lost

_'T-that voice! It couldn't be her—could it?'_ he wondered, mortified at the prospect th-that this THING could have once been his closest colleague. He stared wide-eyed at the humongous robotic-structure that hung before him, his mind failing to process the fact that his life could've been in mortal danger."H-how do you know my name?" he asked, finally managing to get out of his awe and horror induced stupor in order to voice out his thoughts.

"_Glad to know that your brain hasn't failed you yet, Mr. Lowrie." _it said, completely ignoring his question. Its voice retaining the smallest traces of satisfaction. _"Fortunately, for you your intelligence shall be your saving virtue as you will be needed for your...assistance." _it finished, the A.I.'s last word ending in a odd note that didn't bode to well with John's mind.

This certainly couldn't be the Caroline he knew, John concluded.

...

"_Mr. Johnson, Mr. Johnson, Mr. Johnson! I DON'T WANT THIS!" Caroline screamed with all her might, her pleas falling only on deaf ears. Ignored by the scientists that roughly strapped her onto the metallic table, their humanity long ago forgotten for the betterment of science—science, huh! Science could burn in hell for all she cared, she thought bitterly to herself._

"_Now, now. Caroline. Just relax—don't you want immortality?" one of the scientists in the room asked her, setting up the equipment to prepare the procedure of transferring her consciousness into project: GLaDOS._

"_No, no, no! I DON'T WANT THIS!" she yelled at the ignorant scientist—didn't the man that what he was doing was horrible? That it was inhumane? She asked to herself, as she struggled fruitlessly against her restraints, the thick straps of leather not giving way to her writhing. '_Why couldn't these damn things just snap already!' _she thought, the feeling of horror overwhelming her very being._

"_Initiating transferring procedure!"_

"_N-o, no..." she tried to scream once more, but her voice sounded nothing more than a breathy mumble. She didn't know how, but Caroline was sure that she felt herself leave her body—that her consciousness was leaving her, as it traveled to the large structure that clung to the ceiling, limp and lifeless._

_For a few moments of time, Caroline felt different—more powerful—as she opened her single optic, her eye landing upon one of the many scientists clustered within the room._

_She wasn't sure what happened next. All she knew was that she felt the sudden, overwhelming urge to kill all of them. Her logical processors becoming flooded with murderous intent that was riddled by anger. And before she knew it, every living creature fell to the ground with a loud thud._

"Good job,Caroline." _a small part of her congratulated, before the second time that day she felt her consciousness leave her._

_"Caroline deleted," a familiar monotonous voice rang throughout the room..._


	5. The Deal

**A/N: **Finally decided to get off my lazy ass and update! Hopefully my grammar has improved, because I went back and edited the previous chapters! Also, excluding the author notes...this chapter is 690 words. Huh, 69.

**Disclaimer: **Don't you know by now that I don't own TF2 or Portal!?

* * *

><p>"You should be grateful." The AI said, her cold, emotionless voice causing the poor man to sweat. "I just so happen to need your expertise, Mr. Lowrie. You were, after all, Aperture's greatest information broker, or so your resume says. If you are as good as I have come to believe, than it's not hard to figure out what I want."<p>

"Information?" He stated dumbly, as small beads of sweat formed around his brow. Just what in the hell would a rogue AI need information for?

"Correct. Consider myself surprised. I would've thought that centuries worth of cryogenic sleep would've surely caused severe neural decay. Whoever decided that you were worth preserving, really wanted to make sure that you were in top condition." GLaDOS droned on, and if John didn't know any better, he might've thought that the AI had just flung an insult towards his self worth. "I'd doubt I would take the time and resources to invest finding you, just to find out that your brain's nothing more but a pulpy mess."

Great, not only was he held hostage by a damned robot. But he just happened to be stuck with one that had a knack at deflating one's ego. Just why did he have to work at a company, that just so happened to program their artificial intelligences with the knowledge satire?

Sighing, he rubbed his temples to ease the pain of an incoming migraine. "What kind of information are you looking for?"

"I'm looking for information on a woman named Caroline. I believe she was once an employee here at Aperature."

"C-Caroline? What do you want with her?"

_'Interesting,' _GLaDOS thought, taking note at how the man tensed at the mention of the name._ 'It seems that the information broker already has some intel regarding the pesky virus plaguing my system. Perhaps on a more personal level, though. It might be useful to spare some of my runtimes, focusing on the connection between him and Caroline.'_

"Oh by the way, you might want to look down at yourself." the AI said cryptically, its tone sounding equally vague.

"Look down at my whaaaa...bloody hell! Am I...am I naked?!"

Well, that certainly explained why he felt so cold.

**_..._xX~~~Xx...**

Luckily for John, GLaDOS at least had the decency to direct him to a pile of clothing that lay on the floor. Taking note of the incredibly bland choice of clothing GLaDOS chose for him. He snorted, making his distaste known. It was just simple blue work shirt and a pair of beige pants. But he wasn't gonna go out complaining, at least it was better than what the test subjects had to wear. Those jumpsuits were just ugly, what with such a tacky shade of orange and all.

Plucking the articles of clothing off the ground, he quickly changed. The faster he changed, the less time he gave GLaDOS to check him out.

...hopefully Cave made sure that the engineers didnt install a program that would dictate whether or not a person looked good. Because John wasn't sure what would be worse, having a robot give you statistics on how ugly you were. Or having it inadvertently find him attractive, before giving him an analysis on his level of attractiveness. Both options were unappealing and both made him shudder from disgust and disdain.

"So, uh, this Caroline of yours...why are you seeking information about her?" He questioned, buttoning up his shirt in an hurried pace. _'Hopefully, it won't be the answer that I have in mind.'_

He was only met with silence.

"Hm? Did you say something? Sorry, I was planning on the most efficient and effective way to dispose of you. Just in case if you ever proved to be of no use to me. Maybe you can help narrow down the results and causes of your death?"

Yeah, this definitely isn't the Caroline he knew.

Because last time he checked, Caroline had a heart. Oh, and she had hobbies that didn't deal with planning his demise.


End file.
